Temper tantrums

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Temper tantrums are disruptive or undesirable behavior or emotional outbursts displayed in response to unmet needs or desires, or an inability to control emotions stemming from frustration or difficulty expressing the particular need or desire.

Acting-out behaviors

Temper tantrums or "acting-out" behaviors are natural during early childhood development. As children learn to separate from their parents (that is, as they learn that they are separate beings), they have a normal and natural tendency to assert their independence.

This desire for control often shows up as saying "no" often and having tantrums, which are compounded by the fact that the child may not have the vocabulary to adequately express his or her feelings.

Tantrums generally begin age 12-18 months, peak between 2 and 3 years, then decrease rapidly until age 4, after which they should be seldom seen. Being tired, hungry, or sick can make tantrums worse or more frequent.

Make sure that your child eats and sleeps at his or her usual times. If your child no longer takes a nap, it is still important to have some quiet time. Lying down for 15-20 minutes or resting with you while you read stories together at regular times of day can help prevent tantrums.

When your child has a temper tantrum, it is important that you remain calm. It helps to remember that tantrums are normal -- they are NOT your fault, you are NOT a bad parent, and your son or daughter is NOT a bad child. Shouting at or hitting your child will only make the situation worse. A quiet, peaceful response and atmosphere, without "giving in" or breaking the rule that you just set, will reduce stress and make both of you feel better.

Remember that children imitate behavior. You can also try gentle distraction to activities that they enjoy or try making a funny face. If you are not at home during a tantrum, try to carry your child to a quiet place like the car or a rest room, keeping him or her safe until the tantrum has ended.