Doctor-Patient Bond Frays After Medical Mistake

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In the wake of such errors, doctors often feel shame and guilt, as well as fear linked to the looming threat of lawsuits. For legal reasons, "I think that doctors are very confused about what they can and cannot say" to patients after an error comes to light, Delbanco said. That includes the use of simple words such as "mistake," "error," or even "I'm sorry."

"It depends on their institutions' views, it depends on the lawyers that they may or may not talk to," Delbanco said. "Very often, they are not only confused, but depressed, because they feel like they cannot say what they really feel like saying."

People who care deeply for a patient affected by a medical mistake often shoulder their own level of guilt after the incident. "Family members, in particular, can feel extraordinary guilt," Delbanco said, and often berate themselves, thinking, " 'If I had done this, this wouldn't have happened,' 'If I had been there, I would have prevented it,' 'If only I had been more forceful, the doctor wouldn't have done this.' "

Such was the case for those close to a young man with sickle cell anemia, mentioned in the NEJM article. The unnamed patient received morphine while in the hospital -- despite a well-documented allergy to the painkiller. He slipped into kidney failure and coma soon after, and his sister said she felt as if she "failed her family in terms of 'I should have been there.' That's a guilt that everyone shares."

Doctors who acknowledge that a mistake has happened, and outline steps to prevent such mistakes going forward, can ease a lot of distress for themselves and the patient, experts say.

But, in many cases, physicians have "a lack of confidence in their communication skills -- they just aren't sure how to have these conversations," said Dr. Thomas Gallagher, associate professor of medicine at the University of Washington School of Medicine, in Seattle.

Gallagher said Delbanco's and Bell's article echoes the findings of studies he has led, which revealed profound differences in the ways doctors and patients communicated after a serious medical error.